it's funny how the best memories disappear the fastest.
and the only way to survive is to make new ones.

there's only so many times you can break a person until they stop letting you put them back together.

am i an attention whore who doesn't like attention?
or am i a liar who lies to myself?
or maybe just a bitter masochist.

i'm getting over you.
i'm trying. god, i'm trying.

i wish i could tell you, scream at you to not make this harder than it has to be.
but you aren't.

it's all me.

"i wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me.
i want to take back all the shit that i have done, but i guess you were
better off
without
me."

i've fallen in love, oh so cliche,
with the music in my ears,
and the wind in my hair.
those pretty words you sing,
and i repeat,
we don't really know what they mean.
but they get the job done.
the time will pass,
we'll forget,
i hope i can forgive.

"now i know what a fool i've been,
but if you kissed me now i know you'd fool me again."

i want out.
out of this crazy mess we've fallen into.
and if the only way to get out is to move to a different city...
i'll hope to move away.
but it's not going to happen.
are you happy?

the worst part of all of this is i'm so crazy about you i don't even know if i'm supposed to be mad or not.
i promised myself i would get away from you until i don't love you anymore.
but i've never been good at keeping promises.
i'm afraid i only want you because i can't have you.
and i'm afraid i'll never be able to trust you the way i want to.
i've seen how easy it is for you to live without me.
would you even miss me if i left our city forever?
as wrong as it is, sometimes i wish i would be in a near-death accident so you would have to love me.
i'll never be more than just an option on your list.
and there are prettier girls, more experienced girls.
how can i compete with any of them?
so if it's never going to happen, why can't i fucking get over you?
maybe it's because that would involve losing you as a friend,
and i can't do that.

i'm just another fucking goodbye.


thank you for teaching me love is not worth the heartache.

why did i let this go on for so long?
this is over.
we're not breaking up, so why do i feel like i'm breaking?

why the fuck do you do this to me?
make me feel replaceable.
replace me.
don't ask me what's wrong like you don't know.
i have no right to be angry.
i have no fucking right.
but i am.
and that's your fault too.
everything comes back to you.
you suffocate me, you make me want to get the fuck out of this stupid little town.
but you're the reason i can't even dream about it.
i can't let anything start with you, because if we don't have anything, it can't end.
you can't throw me away.

don't worry, that's just the way you are.
some people are just manipulative, two-faced, self-centered bastards.
some people are just empty-headed, shallow idiots.
some people are just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
and you are just perfect.
it's tragic, isn't it?

"it's not you it's me."

why can't you, for ONCE, let it be both of us?
even when you're apologizing, it's about you.

fuck you for making me think every song about love and hate and broken dreams was written about you and me.

it's people like you who ruin love for the rest of us.
you don't love him hehehehehe!!!!! =]
so just shut up and crawl in a hole.
thanks.

me and you, we're like summer and winter.

we never want what's right in front of our eyes.

when will we learn? this is it.

there's so much to lose, but there's so much we can be.

"no matter what they say, don't believe a word
cause i'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it
...
the best part of 'believe' is the 'lie',
i hope you sing along and you steal a line
i need to keep you like this in my mind
so give in or
just
give
up."

what is so goddamn special about one in a million?
all that means is a million other girls like me.

and i can't stand it.

you don't want to be mine,
but you want me to be only yours.

but if you knew half the feelings that come attached to me.

i can't stop picturing you and me.
dreams and nightmares alike.

i don't know which i have more of.

i could love you and you could love me and it wouldn't be easy but ibelieveinus.

i'm not afraid of waiting for you.
i've been doing that all my life.
what i'm afraid of is that you'll stop loving me,
and i'll be stuck waiting for nothing.

one day i'll learn how to fall out of love.

"from day one i talked about getting out,
but not forgetting about,
how all my worst fears are letting out.
he said, 'why put a new address on the same old loneliness?'
when breathing just passes the time,
until we all get old and die.
now talking's just a waste of breath,
and living's just a waste of death.
and why put a new address on the same old loneliness?
and this is you and me and me and you,
until we've got nothing left."

on another note, i should really start sleeping more.
someone told me i may feel great at first, my body will pretend.
but eventually it'll all come back at once.

i guess that's how everything goes with me.

i've never been good at explaining myself.
especially to you.
and you're hurt, to you it's a lack of trust.
(to me, it's just another way i hurt you.)
and you said so yourself once, your life would be so much easier without me.
you probably don't think i remember, but i do.
(to me, everything you say is important.)
i remember, because that's exactly what i'm afraid of.
i'm afraid of you, i'm afraid of giving myself to you, because i know you'll leave.
you'll get sick of me, you'll discover my flaws, you'll toss me aside.
(to me, you're the only thing that matters.
but to you, am i just another girl?)