the worst part of all of this is i'm so crazy about you i don't even know if i'm supposed to be mad or not.
i promised myself i would get away from you until i don't love you anymore.
but i've never been good at keeping promises.
i'm afraid i only want you because i can't have you.
and i'm afraid i'll never be able to trust you the way i want to.
i've seen how easy it is for you to live without me.
would you even miss me if i left our city forever?
as wrong as it is, sometimes i wish i would be in a near-death accident so you would have to love me.
i'll never be more than just an option on your list.
and there are prettier girls, more experienced girls.
how can i compete with any of them?
so if it's never going to happen, why can't i fucking get over you?
maybe it's because that would involve losing you as a friend,
and i can't do that.